BASICS
My kids' mother and I were together for 15 years (married for 13.5 years).
Kiley was born September 2009, which was the best day of my life thus far. My son was born September 2014, which was the second best thing that ever happened to me.
My kids were my everything. My kids gave me meaning to my life. My kids were the best thing I ever accomplished. I saw my kids every single day. I fed them every day. I played with them every day. I bathed them every day. I tucked them in bed every night. I took care of them every day. I nurtured them every day. I did homework and projects with my daughter very frequently. I read to them frequently. I never complained about taking care of them every day. They were my pride and joy every single day. I was a part of their lives every single day and cherished every minute of it. I loved them every single minute of every day. I was a full-time dad with a loving, healthy relationship with my kids.
My kids' mother began having multiple affairs shortly after Kiley was born which put a strain on our marriage and family. I wanted to work through it to keep my family together, so I did everything in my power to do so and worked on forgiving her. I thought the birth of our son would bring us closer, but it did the opposite. Over the course of 8 years, she continued to destroy our family with her infidelity, parental incapabilities, lies, deceit, manipulation and neglect. After years of emotional and physical abuse (Literally- physical abuse. She put me in the hospital twice- she broke a glass pitcher over my head AND she stabbed me with sharp scissors. Both injuries required stitches.) and manipulation endured by her, I couldn't do it anymore. Every ounce of hope I had to repair our marriage was gone, resulting in our separation June 2017.
I knew I gave 110% and did everything I could to be a good husband and dad.
I threw in the towel. I was done. My only focus is and was my kids.
JUNE 2017 - EARLY OCTOBER 2017
We separate in June 2017. We are somewhat civil, other than our few and far between minor disagreements and arguments, which is generally expected during a separation or divorce. I was fully prepared to deal with my kids' mother and her crazy. We both knew and agreed our marriage was over. I was done with her and had no interest in being with her, especially after all the things she did to destroy our family.
Despite our relationship deteriorating, we are able to see our kids equally.
My kids' mother has them for a few days, then it's my turn. These are my favorite days. Those are the ones I really looked forward to, eagerly counting down the days until they came to Dad’s house. My kids are my everything. My kids gave me meaning to my life. My kids are the best thing I ever accomplished. I see my kids a few days a week. I feed them a few days a week. I play with them a few days a week. I bathe them a few days a week. I tuck them in bed a few nights a week. I take care of them a few days a week. I nurture them a few days a week. I do homework and projects with my daughter when I could. I read to them when I could. I never complain about taking care of them a few days a week. They are my pride and joy every single day. I am a part of their lives a few days a week and cherish every minute of it. I love them every single minute of every day. I am a part-time dad trying to maintain a loving, healthy relationship with my kids.
BY DECEMBER 2017.....
My kids are still my everything. My kids still give me meaning to my life. My kids are still the best thing I ever accomplished. I was ordered to see my kids 8 days a month. I was ordered to feed my kids 8 days a month. I was ordered to play with my kids 8 days a month. I was ordered to bathe them 8 days a month. I was ordered to tuck them in bed 4 nights a month. I was ordered to take care of them 8 days a month. I was ordered to nurture them 8 days a month. I do homework and projects with my daughter less and less. I read to them less and less. I never complain about taking care of them 8 days a month… you know, the 8 days a month that was ‘granted’ to me by the judge. They are my pride and joy every single day, regardless of how often I’m able to see them. I’m a part of their lives for 8 days a month and cherish every minute of it. I love them every single minute of every day, even the days they’re not with me.
I’m now an ‘every-other-weekend’ dad, trying to make the best of the situation. I’m used to having an everyday relationship with my kids. Then I was reduced to having a few-days-a-week relationship with my kids. Then I was reduced to having a few-days-a-month relationship with my kids. I’m walking on eggshells to avoid anything and everything that she could use against me, all the while constantly being told I was a bad husband, a deadbeat dad or a piece of shit dad.
My kids are systematically stripped away from me.
Is this what's in the best interest for my kids?
Isn't that what the court's primary concern is or should be?
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One day during the week, every other weekend and every other major holiday...
my new "Parenting Schedule"