DECEMBER 18, 2018

This is the day that I would get the good news-joint custody. Ecstatic is an understatement. This day would forever change the future of my kids. This is the solution I have wanted.

While in front of the judge, my kids' mother presents false claims of domestic violence. She plays a recording to the court that was taken during an argument without my knowledge. She did not accurately represent the true nature and context of the event. I’m caught off guard. I made a few comments that were inappropriate, as did she, but coincidentally they were not on the recording. The court hears the comments I made, NOT any of the comments my kids' mother made. She changed her demeanor the moment she started recording. She knew she was setting me up. I’m backed in a corner without the opportunity to state my defense or counteract the claims.

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The verdict is in. The judge makes his judgement.

The door is slammed in my face: SOLE PHYSICAL & LEGAL CUSTODY TO MOTHER AND A DOMESTIC VIOLENCE RESTRAINING ORDER.  Am I hearing this correctly? Is this real? I knew it was real when I saw the custody orders… the ones that state in black and white ‘sole custody to mom’. It’s real, as real as real could get.

Ok, so now I have to make the best of the situation. It could be worse, right? Wrong.

My kids are still my everything. My kids still give me meaning to my life. My kids are still the best thing I ever accomplished. I was ordered to see my kids 8 days a month. I was ordered to feed my kids 8 days a month. I was ordered to play with my kids 8 days a month. I was ordered to bathe them 8 days a month. I was ordered to tuck them in bed 4 nights a month. I was ordered to take care of them 8 days a month. I was ordered to nurture them 8 days a month. I do homework and projects with my daughter less and less. I read to them less and less. I never complain about taking care of them 8 days a month… you know, the 8 days a month that was ‘granted’ to me by the judge. They are my pride and joy every single day, regardless of how often I’m able to see them. I’m a part of their lives for 8 days a month and cherish every minute of it. I love them every single minute of every day, even the days they’re not with me.

I’m now an ‘every-other-weekend’ dad, trying to make the best of the situation. I’m used to having an everyday relationship with my kids. Then I was reduced to having a few-days-a-week relationship with my kids. Then I was reduced to having a few-days-a-month relationship with my kids. I’m walking on eggshells to avoid anything and everything that she could use against me, all the while constantly being told I was a bad husband, a deadbeat dad or a piece of shit dad.

My kids are systematically stripped away from me. 

Is this what's in the best interest for my kids?

Isn't that what the court's primary concern is or should be?

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One day during the week, every other weekend and every other major holiday.

My new "Parenting Schedule".